how writing about TERRA ends in questioning your life

Should I have children? 

Should I have children before I turn 40? 

Should I have children right now?

I study TERRA. Yeah, that's a funny name for a molecule, for an RNA molecule. And I have to admit, I love it. TERRA means TElomeric containing Repeats RNA and is the RNA generated from the tips of chromosomes. Chromosomes are the X shape that DNA takes when compacted. So, this beautiful TERRA is made from the end of chromosomes, the telomeric DNA.

What is fascinating is that our telomeres get shorter with time, yes, we lose the DNA from the tips of our chromosomes every year, every day, we get older. What is TERRA doing there? Does it prevent shortening of telomeres, or rather enhance the loss of telomeric DNA?

Today, my missions in the lab were two: help Alessandra plan her experiments, and write the outline for a review article about TERRA. 

With Alessandra, we planned a wonderful Western Blot. As soon as we finished drawing the expected result, I got an email saying that the antibody for the Western Blot would be shipped on March 31st. We planned another experiment instead.

A review is a text including all we know about a topic. In this case, the review should align to the topic: aging of oocytes with focus on telomeres. That is, how the telomeres induce infertility that women reach at around the age of 40, when the eggs can not give rise anymore to a baby, after encountering the sperm. Oocytes are the female gametes, the eggs, the ones that we lose over time, while the remaining ones get older, making us infertile. Oocytes have a nucleus that contains the DNA, like all cells in our body. Their DNA, which also forms chromosomes, have also telomeric DNA from which TERRA is transcribed. 

As I eat my sandwich with grilled vegetables from the cafeteria, I can't stop imagining my ovules with their DNA inside, being there since I was myself a baby, with their telomeres getting shorter and TERRA doing who knows what.

What do I do with my ovules? Do I just let them age? Do I try to fertilize them before their telomeres get too short? Do I freeze them? What?

Clearly, having a baby has never been a wish for me, ever. I have other projects, and although I am open to the calling, I never woke up feeling like I wanted to have a baby. I do have my family, and we do have plans and projects together. Should should should? Should I should?

So, what I'm trying to do is to write a state of the art on how telomeres and TERRA may play a role in oocytes aging. The questions about my life that appeared these days, won't have an answer now. Because now I want to write this, because I like it. I love TERRA and I love my life.